So the Dino has a habit of not responding to any sort of e-mail or phone call related to A by me that in any way suggests that I am an actual human who should be addressed in any sort of reasonable way. This waxes and wanes in severity, but is always there. I do tons of thinking and planning for As future - ideas for enriching experiences, summer camps, etc. Some of these are quite expensive! Our mediated agreement is such that in addition to paying child support I have to cover 65% of all medical and educational expenses.
So what the Dino does is wait and wait and wait and not respond to me about these things. Then way too close in time for me to even consider some of these things (finance wise) he makes them his ideas, suggests how great they would be for A, and asks me to respond. I usually point out that I raised many of these ideas months and months ago (like Mathpath camp, Duke TIP camp, Johns Hopkins summer camp), etc, but now only 6 or 8 weeks before these things start it is too late to work out - in terms of schedule and money. I guess the Dino has a different view, given that in effect he has a 65% discount on all of this stuff!
He actually asked the dentist once if he thought it was a good idea to start bringing A in every three months. Mind you, except for his baby teeth taking a long time to come out A has had NOTHING unusual going on up to that point. The dentist say "no" and that every six months would be fine. I live and breathe for A and if the dentist (who is great and I trust) said that we needed to bring him in more I would be right on it. But to push for that. I can only chalk it up to the 65% discount mentality.
The Dino went out and purchased a saxophone for A without me. 65% discount mentality.
The Dino has already discussed sending A to an expensive summer camp (3 weeks, $3,500ish, plus the cost of travel up there to North Carolina, etc,) with A and has decided this is a go next summer. To say the least I was thinking, yes, this is the 65% discount mentality again. And regardless of the cost it is something that we should discuss first as parents. But the reality is that I am support of A going to this thing next summer. It is just the method that sucks.
Oh, and oddly enough the inverse is not true. That is, I want to do something and the Dino makes a big deal about the cost to him. The 35% of the total of the cost. Ugh.
I only have about 5 more years of this, but I have a hunch come college time it will not be 35/65 but 0/100. But that will be what it will be and there is not anything I can do about that - now or in the future - so I am gearing up.
